I was watching cricket the other day and found myself truly terrified
by the presence of the 7 foot Pakistani fast bowler Mohammad Irfan. This got me thinking of other sportsman who
remind me of movie villains, and here are my top 3 dick-dastardly characters
from sport who are planning to take over the world in retirement.
When talking about villainous characters it’s quite hard to
look past Joey Barton. This nefarious footballer has even picked up a dodgy
French accent whilst playing for Marseille, so could be cast in a Bond film
without a second thought. Whereas with
Irfan his look is intimidating, I think Monsieur Barton could do you some real
damage on a physical level, and certainly one to avoid at all costs! On a lighter note, Joey is in touch with his
sensitive side so once he had beaten you up he would play you the Smiths and
you could bond on a deeper emotional level.
Lance Armstrong would certainly be on the podium for this
one, with his naughty deeds reminiscent of Sean Bean’s character in Goldeneye Alec
Trevelyan. You think he’s the hero of
the piece, and then his true colours are revealed to make him nothing more than
a duplicitous cheat. Once the darling of
a nation, Lance’s fall from grace has been mighty. It’s only a matter of time before he hatches
his plan of revenge and world domination.
Perhaps he’ll use EPO to create a genetically enhanced army of super
soldiers capable of running the world on bikes? Lord help us all.
Finally it is time for the terminator Novak Djokovic. I have a feeling that beneath that layer of
skin lies a technologically advanced killing device capable of inflicting
devastation upon his enemies. Have you
ever seen a normal human bend like that?
He defies the normal laws of physics.
I have to say I can’t imagine Arnie feigning an injury whilst his
opponent is about to serve for the match, though I never saw him play tennis so
who knows what level that Artificial Intelligence would stoop to!
All in all I think the world could be in some serious trouble if these three ever meet, let alone me so I'll leave it there in fear of my own safety. Remember, you heard it here first!
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